Posts Tagged ‘snark’

John Cornyn Enters My Subconscious

January 21, 2009

Woo… the euphoria of the inaugural ceremony ends and among many things, one that sticks in my head and of those of the others who watched that whole she-bang go down, with the yellow going mellow and the orange being foreign’g while the gold were bold, was that of John Cornyn’s voice going, “Me! Me! Me!”

I mean, what the hell, Senator Cornyn, can’t you find some other way to draw attention to yourself, than to pretend to be the voice of the righteous people demanding that due process vet the candidacy of Hillary Clinton for the position of Secretary of State? His spokesman, Kevin McLaughlin, assures us that this is “not an effort to scuttle or block the nomination, but a legitimate policy difference.” Um, yeah, we know this is not an effort to do anything to the nomination because said nomination is already all done and packed up, like the suitcases of a guy who’s just been found out cheating by his wife and who wants him out of the house before sunset.  So the only thing you could possibly be hoping to achieve, Cornyn, my friend, is to score some political points on the coat tails of the massive publicity machine that is the Inauguration ceremony.

“How abouts we waits until they have this ceremony thing, where over five million Americans shalls be glued to news outlets, and then we says we have a problem with Clinton? That would give us a lot of attentions, wouldn’t its?” asked Senator Cornyn, rubbing his hands in childish glee. “Senator Cornyn, your words are honeyed and your dick is beautiful,” replied Kevin McLaughlin, his spokesperson and chief dick-sucker.

Wait, was that really Kevin McLaughlin, his pate bobbing up and down and half-buried between Senator Cornyn’s legs, or was it Charlie Crist? Charlie Crist, the man long rumored, or so I read, to be Florida’s first gay governor? Would make sense he’s sucking Cornyn’s dick, in return for being bumped up to the Senate.

Is it just me or do Crist and Rahm Emanuel look alike?

Rahm Emanuel, a good looking Jew charliecrist

Ok, ok, maybe it’s just me with my warped Brown Man’s sense that all White People look alike, but come on, man, I think I’m okay on this one.