Thoughts on Thoughts on Porn

That last post didn’t go so well. I was intending to draw out something interesting about my relationship to watching porn and the effect it has on my life but I only ended up making a rather banal and stereotypical point — that watching porn creates fantasies of control in me, and that I tend to find real sex boring because those fantasies are not borne out on a consistent basis.

It’s very sobering to realize that one is not as refreshingly unique and idiosyncratic as one considers oneself to be.

I felt I came pretty close to something interesting and revelatory, though. I frequently feel like this but when I start writing about it, I am not able to reproduce that feeling in writing. Does attempting to articulate these thoughts simply pull away the mask and reveal the empty charade of sophistication, or is it simply making it harder for me to access those thoughts because it creates a layer of language between me and my thoughts? Is this layer obfuscating, or clarifying?

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